Con Artist Pillows

'Someday, Thelma, Lou, I'll figger out a way to buy you as many of those as you want!'

"It's only by cultivating a deep mutual and trusting relationship with clients that you'll get the chance to shaft them more than once!"

Faux

Master of Illusion

"We did our best to convince them, now it's up to how gullible they are."

Customer says in the future:'I want my five bucks back, rip-off artist!'

'So you say, 'Tom, how do I become filthy rich?' Why, that's easy. By scamming others the way I'm about to scam you.'

"He's doing it again, your honor!"

'You are being completely duped by a stranger! She says she can foretell your future, but she is just a con artist...'

Budget Cryogenics

Melted Snowmen for Sale.

'1970, London-Pete Townshend just hours before he'd pen 'won't get fooled again.''

"This is your second cousin Armando. He was an artist."

"Well - I did say it was off the back of a lorry..."

"This better not be another one of your crazy pyramid schemes."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

"Eres la chica mas linda del mundo."

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

Galerie de Commerce: Invoices of the Post-Impressionists

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

Pretending To Care

"Excuse me, your honor. If you could just give us a few minutes, my client would like to pitch some time shares to the jury real quick."

"Why, James. James the Munificent. How good it is to hear from you."

"I've got an idea for my comeback."

"Me, I work with a professional snake catcher: he drops me into people's backyards at night and waits for the call in the morning to come and catch me again..."

'Convention time in the liar's club.'

"Mira...this artist is getting attention because he paints all kinds of images on tortillas."

'Yes, dad, I mis-spoke my math grade, covered-up my reprimand from the dean, and cheated on an English quiz, but I'm getting an A in political science.'

'Thank you for that kind introduction, Ed, but frankly, I would've liked a little further ado.'

"Is there a reason you haven't done any work?"

"Actually, I am underwater."