Computer Custodian T-Shirts

"No, your laptop turning red isn't a new, cool feature. It's red because it's hot. When is the last time you cleaned it?"

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

Bathroom Fairy

"Not guilty?"

Whittler's Mother.

Night-shift entrance

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

Cat and INOUT boxes.

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"Yeah, I keep a clean desk. Now all the mess is in the computer!"

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

"And to think NASA hit a target 11 million kilometres away."

Superintendent

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

"Someday, son, all this will be your fault."

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

Bad news...we're running out of ice.

'Crusher' Collins: Data custodian by day, data bouncer by night.

"The employees from the two companies are adapting very well to the merger. I wish I could say the same about the computer systems!"

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

Welcome to Silicon Valley...the user friendly place.

'Getting other people's toddler's leftovers on a highchair is one thing, but getting their toddler, too, is another.'

'I had no idea there was a Nobel Prize for school custodian.'

"Yes, tech support? My laptop was really slow, so I shot it – what should I do now?"

Conan the Custodian.