Computer Crime Crusader Pillows

'Geek computer hackers wouldn't have survived a week at MY West Point!'

Hate Platforms

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

Robot Robber

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

"This is a special place we have for phishing scammers!"

"I'm getting old. . . I only got 17 hate comments!"

"Ms Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel the call to tech-support."

"Millions at risk from identity theft - good thing I'm safe."

Trying to switch on the computer.

"Who should I call first: 911 or technical support?"

'Give me the name of your first girlfriend, first car, and first pet!'

'Your honor, no weapons or violence were involved, since my client's breaking and entering were done online.'

Super Highwayman.

"I'm here to protect your data!"

'For crying out loud - it was like the jury had never even heard of necrophilia.'

Cyber Theft

"So many social security numbers, so little time..."

'We need to add an eleventh - 'thou shalt not spam.'

Cyber War

"Pssst! Wanna buy back your browser history?"

"Don't open that email! Oh... too late."

"Well, this is the moment we've been waiting for - the hacker who stole our identities just got hacked by another hacker who thought he was hacking us."

Reporter at cybercrime conference asks: 'Should we be focussing on this area when we surely face a greater threat from the Daleks?'

Gurkenman Used the Company PC to Visit P**n Sites Again...What a Pig!!

Help. Lost my passwords, victim of I.D. theft & can't remember who I am.

"Confounded hackers."

Not our department, Sarge. Better get the computer crime boys on the blower.