Computer Assistance Gifts

"Sorry, Dad, I can't help you with Facebook. Let me transfer you to Grandpa."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

'That cloud doesn't look like a horse to me, but if I import it into Photoshop...'

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Tech support...can I help you!

Friday 5.30pm.

'The staff are healthy enough, it's the computers that keep getting a virus!'

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

Manual Labor.

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

Computer whisperer.

'Do you believe how easy it is to find corn on the internet?'

Welcome to Silicon Valley...the user friendly place.

'We're not interested in how you work with people, just computers.'

"I just know I have a great password in me."

True Loves

"I worry about the parents when I'm off to college. They're totally dependent on me for IT support."

"I don't know how to do fractions, but I do know how to build a computer that does them for me."

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"Is there a geek of any kind in the house?"

'Tech support says your anti-virus software did not catch the problem since it is not a virus. It's a bacterium.'

'This is Mr. Uhmatungha, he knows how to protect computers from even the worst hacker and virus attacks.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'I love your crocheted computer cover darling, but can I take it off now?'

'These are the data security consultants we hired last week. When it comes to firewall design, they're in a class by themselves!'

computer trick with teapot and cup