Computer Use Gifts

Necessary glasses

'And quit telling me to get a life. You know perfectly well it's too late for that.'

'I love your crocheted computer cover darling, but can I take it off now?'

Not tonight, I have a headache.

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"If only life had an 'Add To Cart.' We could avoid making any decisions indefinitely."

'I don't think Mitchel quite understood when I said he should make more use of his laptop.'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

'I don't want to fight the evil Emperor of the Galaxy! †I want to do my taxes!'

Bees can't get onto the Nectar website.

'You're obsessed with surfing the net, Bob! But here it reads you can find help on www.-fight-web-addiction.com!'

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

War & Peace as it was and written and as it would have been written if Tolstoy had invested in a good word processor.

Man at his computer

Out and In.

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'Is this the new input device?'

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

Friday 5.30pm.

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"...and another thing...stop referring to me as user-friendly"

Welcome to Silicon Valley...the user friendly place.

'Do you believe how easy it is to find corn on the internet?'

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

Instead of that CD, how about feeding me a nice bagel for a change?

Internet Dude

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

'He expects so much from me but his data is flawed.'