Complaints Department Manager Gifts

"No, madam. You're right. This is the complaints desk."

"I'm just curious. Which one of you works in our complaints department?"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

'It's Mr. Stebbins...he's getting back to you with a vengeance.'

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

Awkward customers.

'Of course I care, madam!'

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

'And what seems to be wrong with the sprayer, sir?'

"To become a department manager you've got to radiate authority and self-confidence! Authority! Self-confidence!!! Got me??!"

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

"The company's information flow is really simple: the boss doesn't tell the department managers anything, they don't talk to the team managers, who withhold everything from the workers."

'I realize working in the Complaints Department can be tough. But it must be a thrill to work with the public on a daily basis.'

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

'Every complaint is a 'learning experience', now we're going to learn how to hide them behind the filing cabinet!'

"Jones, we're transferring you to the complaint department. We need someone who's a sorry sight."

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

'I know I can handle the complaint department. I've been married for 20 years.'

Complaint clerk presses button to drop customer through trap door

Customer Service - 'No - I demand to speak to your real manager!'

'-and remember,Higgins-it's the fault that counts!'

"Look, I'm always happy to help customers with their problems. But you're talking to the wrong idiot."

"Well, I have arranged the pick-up of your shipment, sir. Do you already want to raise the complaint about the miscarriage, sir?"