Competitive Dresser Gifts

"No, don't worry about it, it definitely looks better on you."

Killer Executive Suits.

Dressed for Success!

Busy man, busy life, busy shirt.

"Beanirrito"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

'Do you like my little black number?'

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'I'll take it!'

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

Savory Types

"You're taking them on a bumpy road, sir. Here are your leader clothes."

The Costumer Is Always Right

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

Honey Costume

Choosing What To Wear.

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

Female Boss 6

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

"Very nice. I don't want nice. I want intimidating."

"First of all, this is a very casual workplace."

'The last suit was a bit stiff.'

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

"What do you think? Too Edward Gorey?"