Competition Training Gifts

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

Overjumpers

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'Can our software do that?'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Putin and Zelensky

Tension filled the tent.

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

The rocket powered skiier

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

Ratminton