Comparisons Gifts

"Your life must be very exciting."

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

"His father came from a family of climbers."

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"As far as form following function, it's a brilliant design for a business center."

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

'What I meditate on is we have rice and tea for lunch, and in the west they have burgers, fries and shakes.'

Book Shop: The great American Novel and The great American tweet.

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

'She's going to six different psychiatrists for her compulsive comparison shopping problem.'

"... a 24 hour mimosa bar, and a 'free love' dating policy! Anyway, how's it been going for you?"

Apples and oranges

'Uh-oh, I think my saddle's on backward. . . No wait, I'm not wearing a saddle.'

Memoirs

Dark cloud envy.

Window Shopping

"Competition is in aisle four. . . but we've only got generics."

'Yeah, well, it's not as good as Disneyland.'

"I've wasted valuable hours of my life comparing the comparison sites and comparing each site for comparison. . . and I've forgotten what I was comparing in the first place!!!"

'Our prices are drastically marked down from their drastic markup!'

'Here's the problem!'

'It's so cute when he he sits like that.'