Company Name Decoder Pillows

'This new position in our company will move me further from ampersand.'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Physical or Social Science?'

'I sense this may not be a one-way journey.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

Information vs. confusion

'He's one of those genetically-altered antibodies.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

"Yes, human DNA is very close to ours, but obviously, they're missing the nucleotide necessary for caring for the environment. . ."

"Well, now it's been explained to you, 'Market Share' does not mean we want to share the market."

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'The new role will involve some EXTRA responsibilities...of course you'll appreciate that there won't be any extra funding...It's a role for which you are uniquely qualified!'

"I have some character-building news for you."

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

"I sure do have a family. There's my wife's DNA and my kid's DNA."

"You'll be working entirely on commission. We were kidding about the salary."

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

Gin-etic Engineering

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

'Is this a Greek restaurant?'

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"The chocolate pudding is chef's digital signature dish."

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."

"You'll fit in just fine."

Marooned Optometrist