Company Influencer Pillows

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

Witches of Instagram

"This is off our first TikTok."

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"Influence this."