Company Comparisons T-Shirts

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

Office meeting

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

'You turned the company around. Unfortunately, it wasn't our company.'

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"

Run, Mike, Run!

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

Sinking sales

"And it was at this point that we stopped trying to innovate and started copying our competitors instead."

'My app just ate your widget.'

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

Fight on the top

"Ladies and gentlemen, start your companies!"

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

I'm gonna buy your stinkin' company...

'Of course our competitors have an unfair advantage - their product actually works.'

30th Birthday - Doctors aren't like policemen.. they don't grow younger, they just age faster.

Fun at the Office: Touché Break.

'I'll show you my investment opportunity if you'll show me yours.'

"Congratulations Fergueson. I admire a man who'd rather beat his boss at golf, than get a big fat promotion."

Nothing Personal: Gifts for your business adversaries.

Walmart vs. Target.

'What are we going to do about these grooming parlors...'

'While you were attempting to seize the day, our competition seized a big chunk of our business!'

"Gentlemen, I've decided to reduce our executive committee to three members."

"This is Stevenson. He'll be your permanent wall of opposition."

"Admit it gentlemen, we are no longer number one. This stupid creature is now more interested in our rival's new product."

"Damn you Smith, you competitive bastard. . ."