Company Car Fleet Manager Gifts

'The disciplinary policy for abusing company car privileges? They dismantle the brakes. Why do you ask?'

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

Sick Building Syndrome

Caution signs.

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

How Many It Takes

Modular Offices

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

"You can't say that to a customer!"

Acme Petroleum, since 1925 and 9/10.

"We're striking for minimum levels of service."

"And to think NASA hit a target 11 million kilometres away."

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

Undersized Load

"I'm sorry, but you wait patiently on the line for an operator. We're looking for someone who immediately pushes 3 for more options."

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

Automated customer service.

"The redesign has made the waiting room a much more tranquil place..."

Access Assessments

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

Caution wet floors. . . Caution DRY ceilings.

'That's not the speed limit! It's the number of cameras in the area!'

'When an outboard goes overboard'

"I'm here to thank you. The suffering index is much higher since you outsourced your customer service and tech support overseas."

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

"Who the hell keeps turning up the heat in here!?!"

Man with Stop Signs.

'More outsourcing!'

"If cars are to go all electric by 2035 we have to make a few compromises."

'Sir, our new automated telephone system saves us $20,000 annually, but our phone business has dropped 66%!'

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

'We deeply regret to have to inform you that no train will be late today. You even have the chance to get a clean seat. Please accept our apologies. Thank you for your understanding.'

"So, what did the boss think of your suggestion we spend more money on truck safety?"