Companion Advocate Gifts

'Why should I be a faithful companion when he's horrible to me?'

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

"I heard they mate for life."

Dolphin friendly tuna

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

Christmas Pets

Protect Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

"You can always count on me."

"...Everyone you meet on the way up, you'll meet again on the way down."

"I love how he finds joy in the simple things." "The emotional burden of alleviating his depression is crushing me."

Best friends without borders.

Domestic Pardners

"You must learn to let go."

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

"And this is my life support system."

Love

Poplar Trees/Not very Poplar Trees.

'Are you serious? I've got a good mind to report you to the grievance commitee'

I know why you're such a greedy, heartless scrooge, Armstrong. It's because deep down, you just want to be loved. But you're afraid of rejection, so you make yourself as unlovable as possible. That's the type of utter nonsense to expect from muscle-bound oaf who hadn't paid his tab in 13 years. I love you too, man. I hope you get audited.

Some Love Each Day Keeps the Doctor Away.

"Your empathy is making it hard to breathe."

"Your test results are in. You've got Irritable Growl Syndrome."

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

Zookeeper who looks after the elephants has equally large wife.

"I know that birds of a feather should flock together, but I like hanging out with you guys..."

You, Me, Still Me

Guide dog looks at ball that has gone over wall.

"Cheer up! Things are sure to get better."

Father's love

Valentine's Day