Commuting Storyteller Gifts

'Sorry I'm late, but I had a heck of a time finding a parking space?'

Death on the Subway

'What zip code are we in now?'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

Ants dressed as businessmen going to work.

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Airplane food

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Face it, Bob, we're lost. Welcome to Faceitbobwe'relost pop. 2.

Doubledecker bus stop

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

'Just doing the school run.'

"I'm going to read a statement and then I'll take questions.''

'Can you tell me where James Herriot lives?'

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

"Who wants to go first?"

"I gave on the E train."

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

"Excuse me... I think you're in my seat."

'...so then I said 'your camera is stealing my soul' and he said 'I'm so sorry - how can I possibly repay you?''

Monster Souvenir

'I was able to bypass the main artery...But enough about my commute to work.'

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

Caravan and Humpback Bridge

"This is nothing. You should have been with us last year at Fifty-third and Lex."