Community Dynamics Analyst T-Shirts

Church Parking Lot Contains Nothing But Handicap Spaces

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

"Next on the agenda: How can we crush workers' spirit, while appearing to care?"

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

'Okay, okay - is there anyone OTHER that the bride's mother who objects to this marriage?'

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"It's late. I am not getting into another heated discussion with you."

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"I want to know why when I'm in a room people ignore me."

'Dayton, you're a decent, respectable, ethical, honest and nice guy. What the hell are you up to?'

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'

Corporate Scapegoat of the Month (Poster hanging on company hallway)

"He's feeling neglected. Should we text him?"

Above Reproach.

Abstraction and recognition

'They sort of grow on you.'

'it's either mass hysteria, or a very effective advertising campaign.'

"Typical, you knew my mother was coming today, so you had to have a big meal to be torpid for a few days!"

"She's one of those bad mothers who say they're bad mothers but think they're good mothers."

'Sorry, I don't have anything smaller.'

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."

"Don't fight us, Timmy. We have numerical superiority."

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

"Oh no, not dinner again!"