Community Dweller Gifts

'This is a gatored community... not a gated community!'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

'Life is great' down on the farm.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"Oh, this old thing?"

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"The dangers of texting while walking #17"

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

He leaves, but soon realizes his roots run too deep.

"This city is becoming unlivable."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

Human Rights for All

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

Upper West Side Story