Community Awareness Advocates Pillows

Cull people who clear leaves or snow from their sidewalk by shoving it onto their neighbor's.

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Zika global alert

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'My problem is that I am an informed citizen.'

'Right...so that's pages 1-6 on 'teenage thus run rampage', 7-9 on 'man sued £25,000 for cleaning neighbours path', the middle spread on...'

'And I bet the same resolution principles would work in your neighborhood conflicts.'

Your problem is...er...a 'male thing'.

Progress.

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

Bubbling

Olympic flame sending postcard - 'Wish I wasn't here.'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

Sewer Rats

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

'Reinventing myself.'

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

"Our state made the list for being on the most lists."

'Guy, is that you?'

"Light at the end of the tunnel!|

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

'Why missionary-themed!restaurants 'usually fail.'

'Hey! Roll a mile in my shoes!'