Communications Disorder Instructor Gifts

'I see that a Communications Disorder Instructor has just entered your life.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"Harold, you've changed."

Letter Collecting Nerd

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Ruddy bloggers!

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

Information...political rhetoric

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

'Let us pray...'

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

Torturing the English Language

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'