Communication Fanatic Pillows

'Sorry, Steve, I'm expecting an urgent call. I have to answer that.'

'It's the same thing every day, Mother. The first thing he does when he gets home is check his peemail.'

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"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

She - Interpreter - He.

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

Letter Collecting Nerd

Ruddy bloggers!

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Twitter censorship

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'Let us pray...'

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

They had a tendency to talk past one another.

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

The Love Psychologists

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."