Formal Communication Fanatic Pillows

Boss hands over document: 'There are too many abbreviations in your report ? can you rewrite it asap?'

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

When a speaker says '...to make a long story short,' you've already been there 3 hours.

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'When did they start giving Pulitzers for texting?'

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but, hang on a minute, I'm pretty sure I have the heart and stomach of a king, too..."

"I don't mind getting email from you, Stevens. But don't ever send me another smiley-face emoji."

"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

"In this corporation, Mr. Taylor, at this level we do not do shirtsleeves."

"Oh I don't work here, I just love filling out forms."

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

Bureaucratic castle

Phonetic Man

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

'It's a post from sitting bull, he's just 'unfriended' General Custer.'

"Now to file 50 million completed Census forms"

'I can't read this, you must write more clearly.' - 'If I did that, you'd see all my spelling mistakes.'

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

'It's the latest invention. Texted smoke signals.'

"Hey, you're cute, you must give me your number."

The New Simplified Tax Return!...Step 1: Calculate income from all sources...Step 2: Send it.

'I.R.S short form.'

Man using flag semaphore in a therapy session.

"We need to text about our relationship."

Shoot...not literally, of course.

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

'Sir, the coffee request form you requested is now three, federal, state and local;'

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

Sign on desk reads: 'Business spoken here.'