Communication Director Pillows

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"This position has become very important to the company."

Lynching on social media

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

This Message Has No Content

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'I'd like to explain my ideas for economy within the company.'

Under new blame.

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

Target your message

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"