Communication Advisor Pillows

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

Department of Disinformation Looms Over the Department of Information.

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

Changing Minds

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"Harold, you've changed."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

Ruddy bloggers!

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."