Communication Conundrum Seeker Gifts

"I never understand what you're trying to say."

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

"Hello?"

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

Communication Breakdowns

'Maybe we should talk to him more, Malcolm.'

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

'Dad's cell-phone!! I'm going to call the moon!!'

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

'My kids don't understand me.'

"I don't understand... I've scientifically proven that you were wrong. How can you still be mad at me?"

"Mr. Stilz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask Kelley to ask Dawn to ask Lisa to tell you he'd like to see you in his office."

'And that's Mel. To be honest, I've always found him to be a hard person to nail down!'

'How to speak Woman.'

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

"I'm not withholding. I'm busy."

'It's for you.'

'I've met someone else unwilling to share his feelings with me.'

'I always say the wrong thing - which makes me feel worse. I don't know how to handle other people's pain.'

"Matey! Me cell connection's down. Throw me a landline!"

"Nurse, can you send in the interpreter for Senora Delgado?"

'No, I mean, what's a 'letter'?'

Trapeze artists.

"I can't tell if I'm being overly sensitive or you're being a cold, controlling, maniacal jerk."

'You have 17 new conflicting messages...'

Hard of Hearing Institute.

Cow wants to quit, but can't say anything helpful when he needs to.

Old People Whisperer

"I don't respond to threats. Or e-mails, by the way"

'It's your wife - firing off another text message!'

'How can I think without words?'

'Are you giving me the silent treatment? I can't tell.'

Tongue Tied.

"In a world of 'from's' and 'to's', I always seem to be a 'cc'."