Communication Conundrum Gifts

"I can't understand a word you say when your helmet is shut."

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

Communication Breakdowns

'Maybe we should talk to him more, Malcolm.'

"How should I know what I'm thinking? I'm not a mind reader."

"I never understand what you're trying to say."

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

"Mr. Stilz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask Kelley to ask Dawn to ask Lisa to tell you he'd like to see you in his office."

ACCOUNTANT-IN-RESIDENCE: "John, we're going to have to cut back on the cadmiums."

"I say 'tomarto', he says 'tomayto', I say 'portarto', he says 'potayto'. Why else do you think we're here?"

'I've met someone else unwilling to share his feelings with me.'

"Matey! Me cell connection's down. Throw me a landline!"

"Nurse, can you send in the interpreter for Senora Delgado?"

NHS England to ensure all GPs can work from home if isolating.

'You have 17 new conflicting messages...'

Hard of Hearing Institute.

'A real person's answered it. I hate that. I'll call back when their voicemail's activated.'

Old People Whisperer

'It's your wife - firing off another text message!'

"I don't respond to threats. Or e-mails, by the way"

Cow wants to quit, but can't say anything helpful when he needs to.

'Are you giving me the silent treatment? I can't tell.'

Tongue Tied.

"In a world of 'from's' and 'to's', I always seem to be a 'cc'."

"Hi! I'm on the trina."

Smart phone Problems

"Are robocalls a problem? Heck no. I gave up answering the phone years ago."

'Remember when we had to go into a sound-proof telephone box to make a public phone call?'

'Have you noticed how hard this doctor's face is to read?'

Hotline.

'Could you... maybe just write me a little note about it?'

'I did not receive your letter, and besides I didn't like the things you said in it.'

"It's not that we don't interact, it's that we don't NOT interact."

Early group texts

"Stop or I'll cancel!"