Communication Conundrum Pillows

"I can't understand a word you say when your helmet is shut."

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

Communication Breakdowns

'Maybe we should talk to him more, Malcolm.'

"How should I know what I'm thinking? I'm not a mind reader."

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

"I never understand what you're trying to say."

"Mr. Stilz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask Kelley to ask Dawn to ask Lisa to tell you he'd like to see you in his office."

ACCOUNTANT-IN-RESIDENCE: "John, we're going to have to cut back on the cadmiums."

'I've met someone else unwilling to share his feelings with me.'

"I say 'tomarto', he says 'tomayto', I say 'portarto', he says 'potayto'. Why else do you think we're here?"

"Matey! Me cell connection's down. Throw me a landline!"

"Nurse, can you send in the interpreter for Senora Delgado?"

NHS England to ensure all GPs can work from home if isolating.

'You have 17 new conflicting messages...'

Hard of Hearing Institute.

'A real person's answered it. I hate that. I'll call back when their voicemail's activated.'

Cow wants to quit, but can't say anything helpful when he needs to.

"I don't respond to threats. Or e-mails, by the way"

'It's your wife - firing off another text message!'

Old People Whisperer

Tongue Tied.

'Are you giving me the silent treatment? I can't tell.'

"In a world of 'from's' and 'to's', I always seem to be a 'cc'."

"Are robocalls a problem? Heck no. I gave up answering the phone years ago."

Smart phone Problems

"Hi! I'm on the trina."

'Remember when we had to go into a sound-proof telephone box to make a public phone call?'

'Have you noticed how hard this doctor's face is to read?'

'Could you... maybe just write me a little note about it?'

Hotline.

'I did not receive your letter, and besides I didn't like the things you said in it.'

Early group texts

A voicemail would have worked better than a text. No, Ernie, I meant we're going "bass" fishing.

Did You Know That...men only use the left hand side of their brain for listening?