Communication Conundrum Seeker T-Shirts

"I never understand what you're trying to say."

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

"Hello?"

Communication Breakdowns

'Maybe we should talk to him more, Malcolm.'

'Dad's cell-phone!! I'm going to call the moon!!'

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

'My kids don't understand me.'

"I don't understand... I've scientifically proven that you were wrong. How can you still be mad at me?"

"Mr. Stilz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask Kelley to ask Dawn to ask Lisa to tell you he'd like to see you in his office."

'And that's Mel. To be honest, I've always found him to be a hard person to nail down!'

'How to speak Woman.'

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

"I'm not withholding. I'm busy."

'I've met someone else unwilling to share his feelings with me.'

'It's for you.'

"Matey! Me cell connection's down. Throw me a landline!"

'I always say the wrong thing - which makes me feel worse. I don't know how to handle other people's pain.'

"Nurse, can you send in the interpreter for Senora Delgado?"

'No, I mean, what's a 'letter'?'

"I can't tell if I'm being overly sensitive or you're being a cold, controlling, maniacal jerk."

Trapeze artists.

'You have 17 new conflicting messages...'

Hard of Hearing Institute.

"I don't respond to threats. Or e-mails, by the way"

Cow wants to quit, but can't say anything helpful when he needs to.

'It's your wife - firing off another text message!'

Old People Whisperer

'How can I think without words?'

Tongue Tied.

'Are you giving me the silent treatment? I can't tell.'