Commodities Fan Pillows

"There's a man out here, he wants to know where you want your pork bellies."

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

Pasta

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

'I took my money out of the bank and put it into municipal bonds...'

"Fridge-to-table"

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

As soon as he began speaking Manuel's Spanish accent was unmistakeable and he was evicted from the Local food group.

'I handle commodities and Dietrich here specialises in stocks and bonds.'

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'

Hole Sale

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

"It's the closest I get to being a hunter-gatherer."

"That's $3.50 for the dog plus 75 cents toxic cooking water disposal surcharge."

Ahh, Chicken Soup

Venezuela, Saudi Arabia, Russia and Qatar agree to freeze oil production

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

Try our AMAZING Soups!

"The wrangler within wants pancakes."

Cow Cow Plops.

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'

"I'm thinking something in a cheddar."

You're late!

'And I'm pleased to report that your gold futures are panning out.'