Commitment-free Advocate Pillows

'Instead of going through a wedding, marriage and divorce, let me just give you the keys to my house.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"Yes ... no!"

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

Dating Death

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

"And you're telling me this because?"

Animal cosmetic testing

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

"We seem to be the only animals here."

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'

It's not that I don't care for you, but let's face it Larry. You have commitment issues.

Would you like it engraved? Yes please put to my one and only love. That way if we break up and she throws it back at me, I can use it on someone else.