Commitment-free Advocate Pillows

'Instead of going through a wedding, marriage and divorce, let me just give you the keys to my house.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"Yes ... no!"

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"And you're telling me this because?"

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

Animal cosmetic testing

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"

Dating Death

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"We seem to be the only animals here."

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'

It's not that I don't care for you, but let's face it Larry. You have commitment issues.

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'