Commitment Consultant Gifts

'On second thought, let's just be friends.'

Relationship Warning Lights

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

"I don't think you're taking this relationship seriously..."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

A Reasonable Time for Concern

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

Monogamy

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

Preachers with far too much input

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

Marriage & Divorce.

Woman thinking - "But is it a real relationship?"

"You will awake feeling refreshed...."

"I'm always committing to things I know I can't follow through on."

'It's not the age difference, Larry - it's the wage difference.'

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

"I need you, Roberta. Deep inside me there's a married man aching to get out."

'Whoa! Really? You offer a full refund on any engagement ring for up to two years?! Very cool!'

'And promise to love each other through constant drama, bad judgment, poor choices and self-delusion?'

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

"I did say I wanted to get married, but that was a false positive."

'I now pronounce you husband vs. wife.'

'Look, it's nothing to be ashamed of. We chose to get married before living together.'

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."