Commitment Celebration Pillows

Man asking his friend to marry him.

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

Lesbian civil partnership.

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

A couple dressed as a knife and fork

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

"I am dressed for the job I want."

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Help wanted. Various positions available.

Ace headhunters.

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

"No, you can't have a raise. You didn't say, 'mother, may I'."

'Time to leave your comfort zone, Hoskins.'

Cog-In-The-Wheel

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

'Congratulations, Forester. Your ingenious scheme to cut production costs ... In anticipation of this inevitable development, we are reducing your salary.'

A Reasonable Time for Concern

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'