Promotion Celebration Pillows

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

Help wanted. Various positions available.

"I am dressed for the job I want."

"I see by your resume you multitask. You're both a Hunter and a Gatherer."

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

Ace headhunters.

"If you work real hard and are willing to put in the hours, the sky's the limit."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'I know right from wrong and that's been holding me back.'

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"Hey! What's with the 'home run trot'? You struck out!"

'Place good ideas management can take credit for here.'

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

'I'll be happy to put my best man on it, Mr. Orton... but my best man happens to be a woman.'

Jenkins would often shout it from the rooftops - he was so proud of his work in IT.

"Arise Perkins" "That's what I want Sir"

'You can have this desk next time there's a screwup.'

'Ok, Barker. I'll give you your own office - if you promise you won't mark it.'

'My position is so unimportant I never worry about being backstabbed.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

'We won't give you a raise, but you can put this on your desk.'

"Since the reorganization, they're still trying to figure out what to do with J.B."

"No, you can't have a raise. You didn't say, 'mother, may I'."

"Remember saying you'll give us a raise when 'pigs fly?' Well, it's time to pay up."

"Great work, Jackson! I'm going to raise your salary by 7 downsizings."

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

"I'm hoping to move up to fired."

"Instead of being kicked upstairs, I was elevator shafted!"

"Well, since it has become common knowledge that money never makes people happy, we will no longer be giving out any raises."

"I wish I could give you a pay rise, a bonus, and an extra week of vacation, but..."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

Cog-In-The-Wheel

"A four-star general must be a very good general indeed."

'Sure, I'd settle for second best, if it were ever offered!'