Commandment Keeper Pillows

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

"Don't forget the screenplay."

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Does it come on Disc?'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

"I'll do whatever it takes to save this marriage. Even if that means having to work weekends."

New Years Reolutions

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

How To Keep Promises

'Yes, your wedding vows are still binding even if you DID get married during the Clinton administration.'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"Okay, so the object of the game is to get into the most pedantic fight about the rules."

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'The bad news is, 'Though shalt not kick thy dog' was dropped.'

It takes 2000 laws to enforce the 10 commandments.

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

These tablets are heavy. Didn't you create the internet on the fifth night? Couldn't you just post these commandments on your blog?

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'

Moses with the Ten Commandments on a Ski Lift

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'