Command Master T-Shirts

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"I actually know more commands than I respond to."

My first name is 'sit' and my last name is 'stay'.'

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Second lifeReal life.

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

Man and brain

'You're texting? Wait--'

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

"Will you stop 'tutting' until I've finished my report."

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

"FISH ON"

The Art of Bantering!

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

Welcome to Silicon Valley...the user friendly place.

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'My son is studying communications in college. He never writes, calls, texts, or emails his parents.'

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

Is that a new hi-tech remote? Yeah, it's a real game-changer!

TV Remote undoes a man's trousers.

Mind control

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

"Cool game!"

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

Holy cow! This is nothing like the hunting video game we played!

I'm so busy at home I need three hands. One for the chips, one for the beer, and one for the remote!

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"