Coming Home T-Shirts

'Honey, I'm gnome!'

"Is that you, or am I experiencing Artificial Reality?"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

LAY ZEE FUK

Lady of the Cake.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Gardener

Allotment

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"And this is our media room."

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Rose Garden

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Beach Barbecue

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"Get... a-nother room!"

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Getting to Know You

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

Candle Portraits.

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'