Comical Tech Addict Pillows

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

"You are still here."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

"My best friend is my phone."

"Noooooooooooo!"

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

"Honey, what's the weather like outside?" "Hold on, let me check..."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

Man-mobile

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

AI Summit

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."