Comical Tech Addict Gifts

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

"You are still here."

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

"My best friend is my phone."

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"Noooooooooooo!"

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

"Honey, what's the weather like outside?" "Hold on, let me check..."

Giggle.

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

For some reason, whenever they're around me, they get out their phones.

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

AI Summit

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

Man-mobile

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"