Comical Radio Fan Gifts

You're on "Ask Sadie" What's your problem? I want to go back to work. But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do? You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves! If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little "Lord of the Flies"-ish, but that builds character! ... in the survivors.

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

The Runaway Horse

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'Are you made of sugar?'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Dog walking Human.

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Support group for sheep.

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'