Comic Thinker Pillows

'Dear editor, today I saw the first cuckold of spring...' (Divorce Lawyer).

"We only got six days of funding."

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 23

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

Jim Carrey,

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

This will really mess with their minds someday.

John Cleese.

"I don't think of it as copying from Danny's paper ... I think of it as utilizing the Freedom of Information Act."

Jokes machine.

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

Spike Milligan

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

Ceiling Paint

Woody Allen

"Any kids here tonight? Oh, wait... I guess not...since I didn't see any on the menu."

"What's it all about?"

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

Alan Carr

Bingo's Time Out - Part Six

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

Comedy course highlights fake nose

Always let you conscience be your guide. I let my conscience be my guide, but it's non-binding.

"Obviously, if I have to explain the joke, it's not funny anymore..."

Valuation of Heaven