Comic Strip Reading T-Shirts

'Of course I went AWOL, sir — you told me yourself that a soldier's first duty is to escape.'

'Well, I hope you're satisfied -- I had Lady Godiva arrested, and Parliament impeached me!'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Grace For Flies

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

They're Not Just That Into It

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Fetch.'

Billy. The Kid.

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'No ice.'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

The Amazing Man-Spider

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Fifteen

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

Fish hunting for men.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

The Salmon Run

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'