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Underfunded Police Dept: 'Continue to resist and I'll be forced to rub my feet on this piece of carpet and touch you.'

Things we rarely hear: Bow...er...wow...er..um...woof/like tweet, I mean, y'know, tweet/whatchamacallit moo...

"She left everything to you. But, the hamster is contesting the will."

Iliadette.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

'That's the one that attacked me, officer! The one with the stupid look on his face!'

Death as a dog walker.

Life before mobile phones

Crow and fox

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

'I hate to say this but no amount of analysis is going to help; you need a better cartoonist.'

Cyclops shopping for glasses

'I'm not naturally dense you know...Its taken years of practice.'

"You think that I'm just here to keep the chair warm? Sir, nothing could be further from the truth!"

"Just ignore him, Jean... It's only my ex husband trying to make me feel guilty!"

"Your Majesty, this learned committee has done deep research on the subject, and we have come to one conclusion: queens often marry down."

"Alice, you REALLY need to lay off eating the chocolate turtles!"

"Yethhh, hello. . .are you clothed?"

"All I know is that one of them was raised by wolves, and the other was raised by geeks."

They were very close.

'Don't worry - We use lethal injection now.'

'Are you looking to pawn or sell your soul?'

Running in please pass

'What would be the point of putting you on a pedestal, Maureen? you're scared of heights.'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

Grace For Flies

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Fly Football

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."