Comic Relief Health-aware Mugs

"Don't forget your five a day."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

'The Neurosis Pack.'

Tourist in the desert

Break Glass in Case of Stress

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

Clown riding unicycle exercise machine at health club.

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

'Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jenkins, some people do have a mild reaction to the flu shot!'

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

One more ring andBbob would set off the Solicitor Glove.

Birdcage and Man cover their heads at nighttime.

'I don't want bread crumbs. I'd prefer some money to buy a cheeseburger.'

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

'20 of medical opinion may change every five years...but it wont be the 20 that says smoking 20 a day and being 5 stone overweight is bad for you.'

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

Welcome to California. You may begin your Schwarzenegger imitation now

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.