Comic Relief Diver Gifts

Casual skydiving.

"Just because that last guy you ate was a vegan, you can't say you're on a vegan diet!"

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"Touché"

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

The First Printed Bible

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

Dog Birthdays

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

"I don't know, what do you want to do today?"

Tourist in the desert

Break Glass in Case of Stress

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"I've changed my mind"

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

"I don't want to alarm you, but it seems that what you have on your back may actually be my backpack."

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

When clowns run out ammunition.

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

"You've got pussyfooting from 10 to 11, shilly-shallying until 12, then hemming and hawing the rest of the afternoon."