Comic Relief Captain Gifts

'Our office is on the 14th floor, Peters... you should forget about rising sea levels.'

'Your junkyard is well organized. How do you do it?"

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

"Oh my God, we forgot to bring the animals."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"Touché"

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"Ever eat a bird?"

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

The First Printed Bible

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

Break Glass in Case of Stress

Tourist in the desert

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

"I've changed my mind"

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

When clowns run out ammunition.

'Can I see your license,please?'

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

"I don't want to alarm you, but it seems that what you have on your back may actually be my backpack."