Comic Relief Driver Gifts

Riding the first wheel - varooom!

'They can also be used to keep an eye on the traffic around you.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

Overjumpers

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Eat me"

No littering...

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

My God, I need to fart.

Super Heroes.

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

The Alpha Seltzer

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'