Comic Couple Pillows

"Why do women close their eyes during sex?"

Stand-up Romcom

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

'Act your shoe size, not your age.'

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

'We're doing so well together: What do you think of me becoming monogamous?'

'You're becoming so distant, Els!'

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

"We just don't seem to make time for one another these days."

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"I want to make it with you."

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

"I'll start dancing like Fred Astaire, when you stop dancing like Nellie the Elephant!"

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'