Comic Appreciation Gifts

"It's probably a hormonal thing."

The Hanson's decision to buy an attack spider finally paid off.

'I did have a job once, sir, but it was too labor-intensive.'

CCTV security on heaven's doors.

'You're late!'

'It got throne away.'

'Is this the way to the beach?'

'Low self esteem.'

"Procrastinator!"

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Skeleton playing fetch.

Cat chases mouse across a Zeppelin.

Why Cows Leave Home

"Touché"

You're arrogant, aloof and spoiled...but I mean that in the nicest way.

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

A Tumble Cow

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"I've been thinking, but I'm going to stop."

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

Mou...Man trap!

Grimm's Fairytales - The Turnip; Student Tricked into 'Sack of Knowledge'

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'Sorry'

"It's my autobiography. I call it, 'I Married Her For Her Money, And Other Gross Miscalculations'."

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

"Look, we're three thousand years old. No one's going to hire us."

"Read the card! Read the card!"

'My parents only said 'don't accept rides from strangers,' but I'm the one asking to go with YOU.'

"Don't distress yourself, when I said he was on our critical list, I just meant that he's been critical about the food, the staff, and everything else!"

New, Improved Cat

'Relax. It's from the cappuccino.'

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'