Comedy Appreciation Gifts

'My parents only said 'don't accept rides from strangers,' but I'm the one asking to go with YOU.'

"I've been fired from my last five jobs."

Playing Fetch.

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

baby sweetcorn...

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Billy. The Kid.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Fly Fishing

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

"They're so like us."

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"He was a sea rescue."

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

Conservation Area

Divine Desk Bins

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"