Comic Amusement Seeker Gifts

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

The Zoo.

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Clown on bike.

'Fetch.'

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

The Runaway Horse

Giraffe Umbrella

Transylvanian backpackers.

'He lives for his holidays.'

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

A caveman paints from life

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

National Everything Awareness Day