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is it an emergency?

'Are you alright? You seem tense...'

End Is Near

Fairy tales in pandemic time

My client is suing you for growing the straw that broke her back.

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

"I'm your guardian angel, I can't mind my own business."

Spring Cleaning

How Is Your Pain Today?

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

We're trying for a broader demographic.

"I hate having to wash my smalls."

Girl looking at a series of books about Katie, the last one about 'Why Katie got an ASBO'.

'Think of us as a kind of stop smoking clinic. We can unequivocally guarantee it'll be your last cigarette.'

Efficiency Expert 'Back in 7 mins 35 secs'

'Actually we were hoping for someone on drums.'

Filing for Divorce.

'We've lashed the first mate to the wheel, sir. I know it's not rough, he just likes it...'

Lord of the Manor.

Psychofarm

"Why didn't you tell me before you were a strict vegetarian?"

First Day in New York

Information/Rhetorical Questions.

Overcrowded Schools: Three Proposals.

'I'm putting you on a zebra free diet.'

'But, sir, this isn't a deserted island, it's merely an undeveloped isthmus.'

'You'll like this new dog food Gus. It's homework flavour.'

'I hate playing stinkbugs! Every time we press them on defense, they just let 'e rip!'

"This looks like a job for Agman!"

"... No, I don't think your car needs a new battery. I'd say your battery needs a new car!"

'For the benefit of the passenger who joined the train at Watford Junction, this is the non-stop London to Birmingham High-Speed service.'

"I think I need to use the lamp post."

'What colour is it?'

'...All the animals in the jungle are now on the list of endangered species '

'Jump!' Kangaroos calling down a kangaroo from a ledge.